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The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
27
March
Courtney

This has been a week of major ups and downs for me.  I’ll start with the good things, since that’s the most fun.  First, Riley slept for almost six hours in a row for the first time.  At six weeks of age, we’re pretty happy about that.  He’s been approaching five hours in a row for a while, but he slept from about 10:30 to 4:15 last night, which was great for me.  He’s been so wonderful about sleeping at night time, but getting a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep was really nice.

I also FINALLY found an adorable Easter outfit for him, one Andy and I could both agree on.  Finding an Easter outfit for a little boy is an impossible feat, while Easter dresses for little girls seem to grow on trees.  I looked at probably a dozen Web sites and in half a dozen stores and finally found what I was looking for.  Be on the lookout for pictures after Easter Sunday – it’s REALLY CUTE.

Riley is also more reactive than ever, reaching for toys to see them closer, actually starting to play on his Baby Neptune mat (grabbing the rings, watching the light show, staring at himself in the mirror), and watching his Baby Einstein DVD.  We bought him one of their DVD’s since we knew Dylan had been a big fan.  Riley is ENTRANCED every time we put it on.  He loves the music, the bright colors, the puppets, everything.  Fret not, we don’t treat the movie as a babysitter – on the contrary, we often talk him through things, explaining what objects are, what the pieces of music are, singing along to the songs, etc.  Lately, we’ve discovered that he loves watching movies in general (just like his mom and his uncle!) as he was equally awestruck when we watched Star Trek tonight.  Another thing Riley really likes is the water.  We have a huge, jetted tub at our townhouse and decided to take him into the tub with us to see how he felt about the deeper water.  He loves it!  He doesn’t cry at all (not even when getting his hair washed) and smiles a little while in there.  It certainly makes bathtime easier on us knowing he likes it so much.

Also, Andy finished his Ob/Gyn rotation this week and did very well, getting a great grade in it.  He gained some valuable experience and learned a lot, but is not planning on being an ob/gyn in the future.  Next up is surgery.

The best news of all is that my brother and my nephew will be here tomorrow!!!!  We are so excited to see them (though we desperately wish Allison could be here, too) and spend the next four days with them.  I’m sure it’ll be chaotic with a six week old and a sixteen month old, but it’ll also be a lot of fun!

Then there were the low points of the week.  It all relates to one thing – my weight.  It seems like everywhere I go, women are congratulating me on my pregnancy.  Not on my gorgeous baby, but on my PREGNANCY.  Apparently, to everyone I look like a big, fat pregnant lady still.  The first time it happened, I brushed it off as some idiot woman who had never been pregnant being unaware that it takes time for the weight to come off.  The next two times, I attributed it to just women in passing not paying attention.  Today, we were at the mall (in search of Riley’s Easter outfit), and as we entered Saks a woman pointed at me and said to her young daughter, “Look, sweetie, that lady has a baby in her tummy,” as I held the door open for Andy and the stroller.  That was the fourth person who had called me pregnant and this was a woman who had clearly been in my shoes before.  At that moment I just started to cry (in the middle of the Louis Vuitton department – not a place that usually makes me sad) because I felt so awful – just fat and ugly.  Sure, there’s still plenty of hormones rolling around inside I could blame, but after all these people pointing and commenting on the size of my stomach I had had enough and my body image feels sub-zero.  Andy felt awful, of course, because men like to fix things and there was nothing he could do to change how I feel (or look).  I’ve lost close to 35 pounds now and was starting to feel good and this one experience just ruined everything.  Andy keeps telling me its because my hips and thighs are so skinny that people keep making this mistake (I’ve always carried my weight in my mid-section), but knowing something and believing something are two totally different things.  All the pregnancy books say that it takes nine months to put the weight on and takes nine months to take it off, but there is no way my ego can survive eight more months of this.  I’m trying to be rational about it, but I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t make me feel bad.

Despite the negative feelings, I am still in a good mood because I get to spend the next four days with my favorite men – Andy, Riley, Christopher, and Dylan!

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Weight Loss Frustrations
10
March
Courtney

It will officially be a month tomorrow since I gave birth to Riley. I really can’t believe it’s been four weeks already – it feels like it was just days ago that we arrived at Northside with our suitcases, ready for baby. Everything has been going well, he’s our sweet angel baby, and we head to to pediatrician tomorrow for his one month check up. We’re armed with our few questions for our doctor, but for the most part, we’ve been lucky and it’s been smooth sailing for the last month. I’m praying it will stay that way.

Right now, the priority occupying my mind (besides feeding, diapering, and taking care of the baby and Andy and the house) is weight loss. I gained 55 pounds while pregnant, which is a HUGE amount. I always told myself I’d gain no more than 30-35 pounds while pregnant, but the endless nausea left me able to eat only comfort foods and junk food (hamburgers, french fries, pizza, etc.) and made going to the gym a chore instead of fun. While I never treated pregnancy as a license to eat and always worked out at least once or twice a week, the food choices I made and the frequency of my trips to the gym were compromised. Let me add that a lot of that weight was fluid (evidenced by the major swelling and rapid weight gain in the last two weeks of pregnancy), a lot of growth in my chest, and a very big baby, so don’t think I gained 55 pounds of pure fat. In any event, that’s 55 pounds (or more) that have got to go. In the last almost four weeks, I’ve lost 30 pounds, leaving me 25 to go. I look better every day, but a lot of that “freebie” weight is gone now – the baby, the uterus, the fluid, the added blood volume – so now the weight loss has gotten harder. I’ve gone from losing five to seven pounds a week to one or two. I am determined to lose the weight quickly because I am now in an in-between stage where my maternity clothes are huge on me and my pre-pregnancy clothes are still too small. I don’t want to buy clothes that fit me now, when I still have so much weight to lose so I’ve had to become a bit more creative with my outfit choices. Nevertheless, I need to celebrate the 30 pounds lost and stay focused on the next 25. Walking up all our stairs with an almost 10 pound infant a dozen times a day does help. I’ll keep everyone posted on my weight loss and I’m sure once I hit that magic pre-pregnancy number, I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops.

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The Birth
13
February
Courtney

While I don’t want to overshare my own birth story, bringing Riley into the world was a truly magical experience, though one far removed from what we anticipated.  As we discussed in a previous post, we scheduled an elective induction at 39.5 weeks because we suspected he was quite large and because of difficult work scenarios.  Some people would think this callous, but for us, it was a logical plan and no less valid of a way to bring him into the world with love. 

Wednesday night we went into the hospital for Cervidil, a medication that ripens the cervix.  The night passed without incident, with Andy and I each getting a few hours of sleep.  I started pretty strong contractions around 5am and woke Andy up at that point to keep me company while I breathed through them.  At 7 am, they started the Pitocin to induce contractions.  I was about 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced at that point. 

I continued contractions, just breathing in and out and relaxing until about 11am, at which point the pain got to be too much to bear and I took the epidural.  I have to say, that epidural was magical.  It was a beautiful thing – being myself, knowing I was in pain, but not feeling it.  It was much easier waiting through the day with the epidural in.  I tried to rest and relax a bit, while Andy played computer games and kept me company.  After a few cervical exams throughout the day, my OB determined that I was just not progressing at all.  I had only made it to 3-4 cm dilated and about 75% effaced in about 10 hours had not moved beyond that.  At that point, we began discussing the dreaded c-section.  Ominous music plays.

Once my OB, who I have to say I really genuinely like and respect, told me that I had to have the c-section, I asked all the questions that immediately jumped to mind (since I had skipped those sections of most of the pregnancy books).  I was worried about recovery time, losing weight and getting my stomach muscles back, pain management and breastfeeding, the anesthesia and it’s effect on the baby, and anything else I could think of.  He answered all my questions well and I was confident that this was best for my body and for the baby.  I did not want to be stubborn and demand to continue a non-progressive labor when it was clear that it was not in Riley’s or my best interest.  Once they got the all clear, there was no time for nervousness.  I was scheduled for surgery 20 minutes later and then things moved quickly.  Anesthesia came in and started turning up my dosage (it was miraculous), nurses took blood, removed my fetal monitors, and Andy packed up the labor room.  We moved to the surgery room where my version of the story becomes a little more vague. 

It started out with me in the room with the surgical team; Andy had to dress in his gown and prep outside the room at first.  I was transfered to a new bed and the blue drape was placed on my chest.  After that, all I saw was the drape and the lights overhead.  And thank goodness for that.  I don’t know what happened next, though Andy does.  I asked him not to give me the play by play and our banter kept the anesthesiologist laughing.  I was aware of everything, except pain, just some pressure.  Within 20 minutes, everything was over, I heard the most beautiful cry in the world, and Andy was telling me just how perfect Riley looked.  They cleaned me up while they cleaned Riley up (Andy went with the baby) and I was able to join them both in the recovery room within a few minutes of his birth.  That’s a pretty impressive feat considering a c-section is MAJOR surgery.  Riley was wide awake and responsive, already reaching for his mouth and ready to try to nurse as soon as I came in the room. 

Recovery has been far easier than I imagined it would be, though my incision is still painful.  I am taking very minimal pain medication, nursing frequently, and am able to move around.  As of last night, I can shower, walk around, and pretty much do as I please, as long as it’s not lifting anything heavy. 

While this wasn’t the birth we anticipated, it is the one we had.  Some women report feeling like failures at having to have a c-section and that couldn’t be farther from the truth for me.  I asked my ob after the fact if there was anything that could have been done to make labor progress better (starting earlier, waiting longer, etc.) and he said no.  There was no way that we could have avoided having a c-section – Riley was apparently turned the wrong way (“sunny side up” according to the docs), and his head was too big for my pelvis.  Anyone who saw me in those final weeks though, could have guessed that.  Nevertheless, I am no less content with my birth experience than I would have been if it had gone according to plan.  I have a beautiful, healthy son who I love more than I could have imagined and that’s all that matters to us.

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Pregnancy Update: The Final Days
08
February
Courtney

I’m now 39.5 weeks pregnant and we’ve scheduled our induction. Finally, we have a timeline for getting this baby out! We’ll go into the hospital Wednesday night for the first stage of induction (administering Cervidil) and then the doctor will administer Pitocin the next morning to stimulate contractions. We’re hoping that everything progresses quickly, safely, and smoothly, so we can have Riley in our arms by Thursday evening.

There are a number of reasons we opted to go with induction. First, Andy starts a new rotation next Monday; not showing up to a rotation can cause you to forfeit that rotation, which wouldn’t be beneficial for his graduation timeline. If I happened to go into labor on that first day, there’s a risk that he would have to miss some or all of the birth, which is not a risk I am willing to take. Second, his current attending is understanding of the pregnancy situation, having three kids himself. Who’s to say that the next physician will be so understanding? Also, I’m incredibly uncomfortable. All women in their ninth month are uncomfortable, but Riley is very large (especially on my frame) and putting a lot of pressure on my joints, causing a lot of pain for me. He’s sitting on my veins and causing a significant amount of swelling from my feet to my knees, which is also quite painful (and gross looking). I’m far too heavy for my own good and I really need this weight removed from me. It’s difficult to sleep through the night and getting up to go to the restroom is very difficult, as well. All in all, I don’t think I could last much longer if induction weren’t a possibility. Nevertheless, I’m still healthy as can be with a low blood pressure, low blood sugar levels, a high degree of activity (lots of daily walks), and the ability to still work. Riley is doing great, he just wants to keep waiting in the womb and Andy and I can’t permit that any longer.

While the induction eliminates some of the “magic” of the event happening naturally, we have to be smart about what’s best for me, for Andy, and for Riley, as well as for our bank accounts and graduation. Hopefully, we can have pictures put up before the end of the week!

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A Boring Post by Andy
30
January
Andy

There has been some talk that this blog isn’t updated frequently enough and in the spirit of picking up the slack for my overwhelmed and oversized wife (no offense honey, you know it’s all baby), I’m going to post a little bit of updating and rambling to entertain the likes of those who find this sort of rambling entertaining. As I sit here and drone over things I could possibly talk about, Peanut is meowing very insistently about the fact that she doesn’t have room to crawl into my lap while my hands are engaged in typing. Nonetheless Peanut will find something else to engage in meanwhile, such as barking at the pretty songbirds that have decided to grace our bird-feeder this morning and brighten our day. I’d like to throw a shout-out to all my Tennessee folks who are enjoying unprecedented snowfall amounts, or as we have heard it called “Tennessee Snowpocalypse 2010.” Meanwhile we’re sitting pretty on about a quarter inch of rainfall overnight and a gray, foggy day. So while all of you are enjoying the most thrilling snow day filled with sledding, snowman building, snowball fights, and hot cocoa, keep us in mind in the back of your heads and know that what you’re doing today is way more fun than the tedious chores and baby-preparation that will occupy our Saturday. Apparently we could go see a movie but I really feel my time is better spent using this rare free-time to prepare the house for our new arrival. In a sense, I’m nesting, which is a behavior usually reserved for the pregnant mother, but in this case I claim sympathy pregnancy symptoms.

Since our last update, our lives have been fairly unremarkable. We did manage to find the time for a romantic weekend at Chateau Elan, a resort/winery only 45 minutes from here with top-notch accommodations. Preggo the Hutt will provide more details in an upcoming post regarding that getaway. Suffice it to say that it was everything we were looking for in our last vacation alone, albeit short. The rest of our days have been filled with work, chores, errands, and timing Braxton Hicks contractions hoping they turn into real ones. Her contractions are becoming more frequent, though no other signs of approaching labor have been observed just yet, barring his head moving into 0 station. Look it up if you don’t know what it means. Wikipedia can almost replace a health professional these days.

My work has been fairly good. I’m working a psychiatry rotation at an inpatient facility for adolescents. Unfortunately due to the nature of our patient population I cannot give much more detail than that. I do get a lot of direct contact with the children and the rest of my time is spent doing endless documentation. I’ve already crossed another specialty off the list of possible residency ideas. Nonetheless psychiatry has its place in any physician’s arsenal, especially one who plans to enter family medicine. Family practitioners deal with psychiatric patients on a daily basis, whether the problem is simply a co-morbidity to a medical diagnosis or the psychiatric issue is the presenting problem. I will be glad when it’s over in two weeks though.

As far as the pregnancy goes, things are progressing smoothly if not slowly. Today marks week 38 and mommy-to-be is bigger than ever, though she has not gained any more weight, for which she is very thankful. Her symptoms are uncomfortable and disturbing at times, and some of them even affect me. Her ankle swelling is prominent and doesn’t go away when she swims anymore. The mass effect of the large infant sitting on organs, joints, and ligaments causes an overriding feeling of discomfort. Worst of all is the snoring. It seems to get progressively worse every week and now it’s so loud that I physically cannot fall asleep in the same room. It makes us sad but we have to separate at night if I’m to get any sleep. We both hope that this symptom will disappear quickly after the birth, once the circulating pregnancy-associated hormones return to their normal pre-pregnancy levels.

That’s all I really have to ramble about. Peanut has her back turned to me and refuses to make eye contact now, I hope she’ll get over it (she will). Again I wish all of you snow-bunnies in Tennessee a wonderful snow day and we all hope to see you soon with our newest family member… whenever he decides to show up. He’s late by daddy’s watch and I’m pacing back and forth wondering when he’s going to be home. Bad sign, right?

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Pregnancy Update
15
January
Courtney

Today saw another visit to my Ob/Gyn and he pretty much told me I was what he considered to be full-term, so now we just get to play the waiting game.  In all likelihood, I have another month to go, but Riley could show up anytime now.  I feel absolutely huge and monstrously uncomfortable.  We’ve devised all sorts of nicknames for me and how I look right now – Monstro the Whale, Preggo the Hutt, and other less descriptive names like Fat Wife.  46 pounds is a lot of weight on someone who used to be skinny and I can’t wait to get rid of all this extra bulk.  Seeing old pictures is enough to just about bring me to tears.  Today I dropped a pen at the doctor’s office and it took two full minutes to pick it back up.  I tried bending over at the waist, squatting, and a combination of the two, among other things before I gave up and had to crawl on the ground to pick it up and then hoist myself back up (with great difficulty).

A lot of the weird symptoms I thought I had safely avoided have come around now in the final weeks.  My feet are officially bigger.  I have one pair of shoes and one pair of flip flops that still fit and I can’t wear the flip flops anymore because it’s freezing cold, so I’ve been wearing a lot of shoes that are too tight. Maternity clothes at this point don’t really even fit.  I’m quite tired, but the baby is squashing all my organs so frequent trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night have become the norm, despite my desire to sleep all the time.  I’ve started getting a little bit of reflux in the middle of the night, which I never had before, so to alleviate the symptoms I have rearranged my “pillow fort” (5 pillows in all) to keep my head and chest up, while trying to keep me propped up on my side (apparently being on your back is a big no-no) with my belly and hips supported.  My already non-existent amount of patience has dwindled making me a bit more irritable that usual (not so much moody as just sort of grouchy).  If we’re at a restaurant and I don’t have water in front of me at all times, I get really grouchy.  I’m also not very patient waiting around for the doctor in the office for 20 minutes of more (especially when I’m half naked), but there’s nothing that can be done about that.    It’s not like I can drop my OB’s tip for not attending to me in a more expedient manner, like I can with a lame waiter.  I’m thirsty all the time – I drink probably close to two quarts of liquid in a day, which is weird for me because I never drank this much water before.  No wonder I’m in the bathroom so much.  Don’t get me wrong, these aren’t complaints, it’s just the reality of being 9 months pregnant.  I knew what I was getting into before this all began, but there’s a great deal of truth to the discomforts of being THIS pregnant.  I’m just sort of over it.  It seems like I’ve been pregnant forever according to Andy and Tyler, and honestly, I pretty much have been.  May 2009 – February 2010 is a LONG time to be uncomfortable!

So that’s where we are today – waiting, waiting, and waiting.  I’m torn about packing my bag for labor.  On the one hand, I have a desperate need to be prepared and organized, but on the other, I’m hoping Murphy’s Law kicks in and Riley will show up before I have time to get the bag together.  We’ll see what happens in the next few weeks, but I would imagine that we have several LONG, uncomfortable, and boring days in the coming weeks.  Stay tuned for updates!

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Atlanta Blizzard 2010
10
January
Courtney

Snow in the south!  Who’d have thought?!  Sure enough after weeks (feels like years) of freezing cold temperatures, we had snow Thursday afternoon, evening, and night.  Andy loved seeing the ground, the deck, his truck, all covered in snow, but probably not as much as he loved the snow day his attending called for Friday.  It was nice seeing the snow and waking up to a beautiful dusting all around, but the south is just not prepared for any degree of snow and the roads in many places around here are still icy, especially in shady patches.  It’s certainly pretty, but I will end up worrying about Andy with his long commute each day until the weather heats back up – which, frankly, can’t come soon enough.  I’m done with winter now.

I just haven’t been all that excited about the cold weather this year (despite it’s relative novelty for us) because I don’t have enough clothes that fit that I can successfully layer.  People always say that pregnant women in the summer are so uncomfortable, but I think the winter might be worse.  It’s hard enough finding a shirt that fits (I currently have two), but finding an undershirt, a shirt, a sweater, long underwear, pants, and a coat that actually zips up is pretty much impossible.  I’ve given up and just admitted that anytime I leave the house I will be cold.  Thank goodness for gloves, hats and scarves which don’t have sizes, and for Andy’s ski jacket (the only thing that zips over the belly), otherwise I’d be in a real mess.  But at this point, I refuse to buy more maternity clothes.  I’m 35 weeks pregnant, which means I only have a month or so to go.  It doesn’t make sense to buy something that will fit me for 4 or 5 weeks and then never fit again (until the 8th or 9th month of the next pregnancy).  I just have to accept that the only things I have that fit are sweat pants, two shirts, one pair of jeans, and one dress.  Thank goodness I work from home!  I’m at the stage where I’m just ready to be done with pregnancy, ready to have my old body back (or close to it), and ready for Riley to come out and join us.  Not too much longer now, but I have the feeling the next four to five weeks will feel like an absolute eternity.

Check out a few pictures of the 2010 Atlanta Blizzard!

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The Final Week
26
October
Courtney

After much prodding, I’m finally updating the blog.  Things have just been too busy around here to find the time.  We move out of our apartment in Maryland in about a week and, unfortunately, we really haven’t started packing yet.  Over the last few weeks we’ve had to find a place to live in Atlanta, prepare for the move, sign all the contracts and pay the deposits on the new place, close out our stuff here, and figure out a time line for the move.  Thankfully, that all seems completed, so now we can focus on finishing our last week here before moving on.  Andy has one more week of his rotation and tons of work to do in that time, so he will be incredibly busy this week.  I’ve been working hard, while trying to get a handle on the packing situation (at least conceptualizing where things will go).  We’ve moved around so much by now, it seems like old hat so we aren’t stressing too much…. yet.

We couldn’t be more excited about our new townhouse in Atlanta, though.  After many evenings of looking at house, condo, and townhouse listings we narrowed our search down, in large part to our amazing realtor, Karen Smyth.  She has been so helpful to us throughout the whole process and never treated us as second-class clients because we’re renters.  She’s knowledgeable, thorough, and working with her has been a really great experience.  I couldn’t recommend her any more highly (if anyone knows someone in need of a realtor in Atlanta, I have the best one!).  Finally, we’ll have enough space to actually have “our things” back, enough space to let the cats run around, and enough space for our expanding family.  We’ll be able to have visitors again and entertain, two things we always used to do all the time but haven’t been able to in recent years.  We love the neighborhood (it’ll be nice to be in an area safe enough for me to feel comfortable running errands alone!) and we love that we’ll still be within driving distance of many of our closest friends.  We’re excited to start our time in Atlanta and actually be there for at least a year.  After looking over all the places we’ve lived in the last 7 years, Andy and I realized we’ve never been anywhere longer than 18 months (which was a really sad discovery), so staying in one place for a year is really exciting for us.

But before we can move, we have to get through this week, pack our stuff, drive to Nashville and spend a few days there, catching up with friends, packing up all of our stuff from the upstairs and the basement of Andy’s parents’ house, and attending a baby shower being thrown for us (which we’re vey much looking forward to).  I’m right about 24 weeks pregnant now, just around the corner from the third trimester.  I’m quite noticeably pregnant and it seems that the morning sickness has finally gone away.  Even my maternity clothes barely fit these days because all the weight I’ve gained has concentrated itself in front of me.  But, I’ll take it since I don’t look fat or pregnant from the back, at least.  I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable; it’s weird not being able to do things that used to be so easy, like bending over, or getting up off the ground unaided, or sleeping comfortably through the night.

And so our time in Maryland is coming to a close and I can’t say we’ll miss it all that much.  While there were some things we liked about the DC area (especially seeing Greg), Maryland is definitely not the place for us.  We’re excited to give Atlanta a try next!

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It’s Not A Lizard
28
August
Courtney

No, this isn’t a Dominica post, just a funny quote from a conversation with my brother.  The biggest question you get when you’re pregnant, after the required “how far along are you/when are you due” pleasantries, is “do you know if it’s a boy or a girl.”  The truth is, we don’t know yet but want to find out as soon as we can (most likely within the next five weeks).  My brother and I were discussing this on the phone the other day and this is what came out of the conversation:

“Well, it’s not like if you don’t get a girl or a boy that you’re going to get a lizard.”

Truer words have never been spoken.  So we have a 50/50 shot of boy or girl… what do you think it is? I say girl, Andy says boy.

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